I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
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Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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