My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
