Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
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It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
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Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize