hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
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I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
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It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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