Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
