I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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