i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
