how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
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