No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
