Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
