all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
