Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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