I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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