I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
