If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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