U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
