I'm gonna have a badass scar
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
