She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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