i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
