Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Randomize
