Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
