do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize