i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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