exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Randomize
