I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
