Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The air was thick with penises
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
