My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
