guys are not supposed to queef...right?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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