'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize