He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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