Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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