i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
