I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
