I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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