whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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