if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
