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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Enjoy the penises
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He did a backflip because drugs
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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