Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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