the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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