i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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