I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
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and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize