winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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