Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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