You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
