I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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