I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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