stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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