I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
