I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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