just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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