Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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