you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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