I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize