I feel like I'm in dance class right now
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
