I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
